the roanoke airport and usair

What could they possibly have in common? How about they both suck.

My first clue that today would be a rotten travel day was the initial call from the robot at USAir telling me that my 10:40 a.m. departure had been changed to noon. As we all know, you head to the airport anyway. You never know if there could be a small miracle and they take off on time, you miss the flight and you’re screwed.

Around 12:30 p.m. we (all three of us) were told the plane had “issues” and there would be another delay.

At 12:34 the robot calls me again telling me the same information. So what does one do at this point? Yep, it’s 5:00 somewhere.

So of course they’re out of chardonnay at the bar, only pinot grigio in the white department. Credit card process doesn’t work, so they can only take cash. Thank god I had plenty, but I immediately started calculating how many glasses of wine could be purchased at $7.00 a glass. I sat drinking my glass of wine looking at a wall splattered with ketchup, mustard and something that looked very similar to buggars. Lovely. So appetizing as I eat the only thing they had, a hard bun with a burnt weiner.

Oh, and did I mention no wi-fi at an airport that has complimentary wi-fi? Of course no one could answer the question as to why there was no wi-fi…as no one would take ownership of such a thing. “They” only handled canceling flights and screwing with people.

I settled in with my book until an adorable group of six European teenage tennis players sat down chatting a mile a minute in their native language to the point I could no longer concentrate on the details of who was getting killed when. Then the phone rings. Oh, my favorite USAir robot called letting me know how sorry they were for the inconvenience, but the flight would now be delayed until 3:00 p.m. I proudly told the gal at the boarding desk just in case she didn’t know. She didn’t. Go figure.

So I returned to the bar and lo and behold a bottle of Chardonnay had appeared. Yippee! Things are looking up! Thank god I still had cash and finally one little bar on the wi-fi signal, enough to read the headlines until it went away again. Then the phone rings. Guess who?? Guess what?? Now the departure time is 5:00 p.m.

In the meantime, a dear friend sends a joke to me about how Santa wasn’t having a good day and a little angel knocks on his door all sunny and chipper… and went on to say she (the angel) had a Christmas tree for him and wanted to know where she should place it. And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the tree… What timing!

But wait…there’s more. Since I’m receiving the updates prior to the gal at the boarding desk, I waltz up and let her know our new departure time of 5:00 p.m., at this point just to mess with her. Plus I wanted to let her know I knew all about their little game that was being played. There wasn’t enough people to make that 10:40 a.m. flight was it??? “What?” she said. “We would never do that.” Right.

So I’m back at the bar for another glass of cheap wine which really pisses me off as I could have bought this bottle for about $10 bucks and now have $21 invested and going on $28.

So I sit in a filthy bar, drinking cheap chardonnay and I happen to look up and the departure time shows 5:19 p.m. What happened to my favorite robot? Where is the gal at the departure desk? I’ll stop now. My mom reads my blog and she wouldn’t be pleased with what I have to say. But I do have two bars on my wi-fi signal! What joy.

So how was your day?